snugger

It’s obviously a thing, and perhaps once I’m a mother I will understand, that women with children do. When they know that you’re pregnant, the first question is usually “how far along are you?” or something like that. Then there’s usually a question regarding what would averagely be happening to you at that point. I say averagely (which I’m sure isn’t a real word, but anyway) because every single woman, and every pregnancy I might add, is different. For example: I have yet to need the toilet more often, even though I’m nearing the halfway mark. So at first it was all “did I have morning sickness”, “was I feeling the heat”, “did I need the toilet more often?” Yes, no, no.

Now that I’m almost halfway, the questions are usually “have you had a scan?” and “can you feel it yet?”

Next Thursday. No.

The fact that everyone asks you makes you feel like you really should have felt something by now. But to be honest, a few weeks ago, when the questions started, I didn’t want to feel anything. The very idea freaked me out. Perhaps it was a concern that it was going to be like that scene in Alien when that dude (was it Bishop? I forget) starts writhing around and then has this thing come out of his stomach? Hmm.

Ok, ok. So I know that it’s not going to happen like that. In fact everything I’ve read leads me to believe that you’ll probably ‘feel’ it for some time before you actually cotton on to what that feeling is. But still. It was nerve-wracking. I’m actually going to become aware of a very small person that is actually inside of my body. I’m sorry, I want to have a baby, but is that not quite freaky?

Marvellous thing time.

Last night I caught myself sitting very still because I was almost sure that I could feel something. Something different. Something, perhaps, like a baby moving? I tried not to get my hopes up in case it wasn’t. But the point is, I was waiting for it. I wanted it.

Is this what happens to everyone?